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Thursday, 09 July 2009
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THE BURDEN
"Why was my burden so heavy?" I slammed the bedroom door and leaned against it. Is there no rest from this life? I wondered. I stumbled to my bed and dropped onto it, pressing my pillow around my ears to shut out the noise of my existence.
"Oh God," I cried, "let me sleep. Let me sleep forever and never wake up!"
With a deep sob I tried to will myself into oblivion, then welcomed the blackness that came over me.
Light surrounded me as I regained consciousness. I focused on its source: the figure of a man standing before a cross.
"My child," the person asked, "why did you want to come to Me before I am ready to call you?"
"Lord, I'm sorry. It's just that... I can't go on. You see how hard it is for me. Look at this awful burden on my back. I simply can't carry it anymore."
"But haven't I told you to cast all of your burdens upon Me, because I care for you? My yoke is easy, and My burden is light."
"I knew You would say that. But why does mine have to be so heavy?"
"My child, everyone in the world has a burden. Perhaps you would like to try a different one?"
"I can do that?"
He pointed to several burdens lying at His feet. "You may try any of these."
All of them seemed to be of equal size. But each was labeled with a name.
"Why there's Joan's!" I said. Joan was married to a wealthy businessman. She lived in a sprawling estate and dressed her three daughters in the prettiest designer clothes. Sometimes she drove me to church in her Cadillac when my car was broken.
"Let me try that one." How difficult could her burden be? I thought.
The Lord removed my burden and placed Joan's on my shoulders. I sank to my knees beneath its weight. "Take it off!" I said. "What makes it so heavy?"
"Look inside."
I untied the straps and opened the top. Inside was a figure of her Mother-in-law, and when I lifted it out, it began to speak.
"Joan, you'll never be good enough for my son," it began. "He never should have married you. You're a terrible mother to my grandchildren. .."
I quickly placed the figure back in the pack and withdrew another. It was Donna, Joan's youngest daughter. Her head was bandaged from the surgery that had failed to resolve her epilepsy.
A third figure was Joan's brother. Addicted to drugs, he had been convicted of killing a police officer.
"I see why her burden is so heavy, Lord. But she's always smiling and helping others. I didn't realize..."
"Would you like to try another?" He asked quietly.
I tested several. Paula's felt heavy: She was raising four small boys without a father. Debra's did too: a childhood of sexual abuse and a marriage of emotional abuse. When I came to Ruth's burden, I didn't even
try. I knew that inside I would find arthritis, old age, a demanding full-time job, and a beloved husband in a nursing home.
"They're all too heavy, Lord." I said. "Give back my own."
As I lifted the familiar load once again, It seemed much lighter than the others.
"Lets look inside." He said.
I turned away, holding it close. "That's not a good idea," I said.
"Why?"
"There's a lot of junk in there."
"Let Me see."
The gentle thunder of His voice compelled me. I opened my burden.
He pulled out a brick.
"Tell me about this one."
"Lord, You know. It's money. I know we don't suffer like people in some countries or even the homeless here in America. But we have no insurance,and when the kids get sick, we can't always take them to the doctor. They've never been to a dentist. And I'm tired of dressing them in hand-me-downs. "
"My child, I will supply all of your needs... and your children's. I've given them healthy bodies. I will teach them that expensive clothing doesn't make a person valuable in My sight."
Then He lifted out the figure of a small boy. "And this?" He asked.
"Andrew..." I hung my head, ashamed to call my son a burden. "But, Lord, he's hyperactive. He's not quiet like the other two. He makes me so tired. He's always getting hurt, and someone is bound to think I abuse him. I yell at him all the time. Someday I may really hurt him...."
"My child," He said, "if you trust Me, I will renew your strength. If you allow Me to fill you with My Spirit, I will give you patience."
Then He took some pebbles from my burden.
"Yes, Lord," I said with a sigh. "Those are small. But they're important. I hate my hair. It's thin, and I can't make it look nice. I can't afford to go to the beauty shop. I'm overweight and can't stay on a diet. I hate
all my clothes. I hate the way I look!"
"My child, people look at your outward appearance, but I look at your heart. By My Spirit you can gain self-control to lose weight. But your beauty should not come from outward appearance. Instead, it should come from your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in My sight."
My burden now seemed lighter than before.
"I guess I can handle it now." I said.
"There is more." He said. "Hand Me that last brick."
"Oh, You don't have to take that. I can handle it."
"My child, give it to Me." Again His voice compelled me. He reached out His hand, and for the first time I saw the ugly wound.
"But, Lord, this brick is so awful, so nasty, so.....Lord! What happened to Your hands? They're so scarred!" No longer focused on my burden, I looked for the first time into His face. In His brow were ragged scars --as though someone had pressed thorns into His flesh.
"Lord," I whispered. "What happened to You?"
His loving eyes reached into my soul.
"My child, you know. Hand Me the brick. It belongs to Me. I bought it."
"How?"
"With My blood."
"But why, Lord?"
"Because I have loved you with an Everlasting Love. Give it to Me."
I placed the filthy brick into His wounded palm. It contained all the dirt and evil of my life: my pride, my selfishness, the depression that constantly tormented me.
He turned to the cross and hurled my brick into the pool of blood at it's base. It hardly made a ripple.
"Now, My child, you need to go back. I will be with you always. When you are troubled, call to Me and I will help you and show you things you cannot imagine now."
"Yes, Lord, I will call on You."
I reached to pick up my burden.
"You may leave that here if you wish. You see all these burdens? They are the ones that others have left at My feet. Joan's, Paula's, Debra's, Ruth's..... When you leave your burden here, I carry it with you. Remember,
My yoke is easy and My burden is light."
As I placed my burden with Him, the light began to fade. Yet I heard Him whisper, "I will never leave you, nor forsake you."
A peace flooded my soul.
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* This was sent to me by a friend this morning. I was deeply moved by it, so I am sharing it with you all! With a few small details changed these words could be written about me.
Tuesday, 07 July 2009
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Breakthrough!!!!
I have often wondered if I would ever see the day.....the day that my children would become my little helpers. This morning they were my BIG helpers....and even without any promptings from mom! They were eating breakfast when Angeline announced to me, "Mom, Nic and I will take care of cleaning up the breakfast mess". Oh. Interesting. That sounds good, but I really didn't have much faith that they would carry through. The next thing I knew Nicholas was up at the sink "washing dishes" and Angeline was putting the milk and other various items back into the refrigerator. Then she wiped off the table. Next she got the broom out and proceeded to sweep not only the kitchen floor but also the dining room floor. Meanwhile Nicholas was still plugging away at the dishes.
Not only were they being great helpers but they were doing it willingly and cheerfully. I gave them many words of blessing for their cheerful, willing helpfulness. I guess the words of affirmation really got them both on a roll because they proceeded to tell me that they are going to help clean up the kitchen everyday!!! Angeline even said, "Mom, I will be your cheerful helper ALL the time. Even when I do not feel like helping, I will try really hard to be cheerful." I do not think she totally realized the hugeness of her commitment, but I applaud her for at least wanting to be a blessing to me. Her parting words were, "Mom, now you will not have to do ALL the work around here anymore!"
I am blessed indeed! Even if their attempts at helping aren't always exactly helpful I am still blessed to have sweet children who want to help me. Their joyful spirits this morning touched me profoundly. And I again realized that giving to others brings a person undescribable joy. A life of selfishness is rotten and miserable. I want my children to grow up knowing and experiencing that joy. I know that this needs to begin at home with a mom who is willing to give and give and give to her family and do it with joy.
I know that this picture really has nothing to do with this post. But I just love my cute little guy all dressed up like a princess. He lasted in this dress for approximately 3 min. He was hilarious walking around in it....he just cannot get that dainty lady step thing down pat. That's ok, I really don't want to have a feminine son anyway. Right now he has on a dress up dress but he is wearing his rubber boots with it....go figure. He's a boy!
Wednesday, 01 July 2009
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Wishful thinking...
I am fondly remembering the carefreeness of childhood. Oh. Just for one moment......to experience that bliss once again..................
My life and my site are both in such deep backlog...............................................................I don't function well in this state. I like to be organized and up to date on things. Someday........just maybe.......I'll c.a.t.c.h. u.p. again.
Monday, 22 June 2009
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Rather periodically my life orbits out of control. I guess that is the only explanation for the suddenly abrupt ending to the Poland series. I do still have more pictures to share sometime and more stories to tell. When will I get that accomplished....well...now that's a rather tricky question. I don't even know the answer myself. Since it is already past my bedtime I'll just share some of my latest pictures that I shot for a father's day project. This Father's Day I felt especially grateful for my Dad and the picture that he has given me of my heavenly father's love and care for me. I feel deep gratitude that my children have such a wonderful man to call their 'Daddy'. I am thankful that the Lord has blessed my life with good men!
My prayer for these little rascals is that they would grow up to be strong men of God... just like their grandpa and their daddy!
Saturday, 13 June 2009
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The Grit and Grime of Life
Lest you all should begin to think that my life consists only of international travels and beautiful mennonite women and a cute baby boy.......Welcome to my life today......it includes a LOT of mud and deep ditches and big equipment. The project is putting a french drain around our house to keep water out of the basement. I only wish that the folks that built this house many years ago would have had the brainy idea to put in a french drain when the house was being built. That would have been much easier and much less messy....at least for me.
The boys are thrilled with all the mud and the little digger. Their expressions of delight are worth the mess. It's a boy's world through and through!!!
Watching from the safety of the porch.
I was being a pretty good sport about the dirt until it rained Thursday evening/night and we suddenly had mud everywhere. Dirt is one story. Mud. A different one!
Rubber boots are needed apparel around here!
This is what I call 'working in the trenches'
My Redneck back yard! I am quite anxious for things to be back to normal again. I love home improvements once they are complete. I do not enjoy the process of getting there though!
amoshaun
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- Name: Shaunda
- Gender: Female
- Member Since: 4/3/2006
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About Me
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I love the Lord. I have been blessed with a fantastic husband and 3 delightful children.
Pulse
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'Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.'
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Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. ~Victor Hugo
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"Great ideas often receive violent opposition from mediocre minds" -Albert Einstein
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